El Paso or BUST!!! Day 2

Day two started well. The night before we decided to drive through to Memphis. I was upset, because I had wanted to stop and eat BBQ in Nashville and see the Sensuous Steel: Art Deco Automobiles at the Frist Center for the Visual Arts  

This would make a nice 2 hour break in our driving, but what to do with the pets? It wasn’t  far enough of a drive to justify stopping for the night, so change the plan.  Spouse was right (don’t tell him I admitted it though *wink*), we couldn’t do these things since we had the pets with us. I love my furry babies, they are family members and a great addition to our life – during a cross country move they just add an extra layer of fun to the adventure. Also since Mooshu is kept in the pet carrier all day I was worried about pushing his day past 7-8 hours – one can only hold it for so long, then I would be looking at a cat bath again and frankly I like the skin on my arms.  So through Nashville on I 40 to Memphis, the state was lovely for driving as we came out of the Smoky Mountains and into woods and farm land. Other than the continued songs from Mooshu which came and went without reason, the day was uneventful and we arrived at our hotel. This evening’s adventure will be at a Drury Hotel in Memphis TN.

I had not heard of this hotel chain, they offer a dinner buffet, with 3 adult drinks for each adult. They bill themselves as a family hotel, “The Extras Aren't Extra at Drury Hotels!”.  We needed to make it there before 7:30 to take advantage of the dinner. We still own a home in NC and need to continue to save for mortgage payments. Let me take a minute to explain how the military pays us – we get a housing allowance which you can use to pay for housing (like we did in NC), but if you live on Post in their housing they take that amount of money out of your pay. Once we sign for housing at Fort Bliss they will take that money out of our check, it makes sense but it means really tight budgeting for us once our safety is gone. I am good at saving but I don’t have 12 months of mortgages saved, so bring on the included dinner buffet!!! We made it by 5:30, so we could unpack the car, set the pets up in the room and breathe for a minute before dinner.

Drury Inn of Memphis was nice looking, right off the Highway, had a grass area for Hemi - with doggie bags, (this past year I took my tree hugging to a new height and got really good at bringing my own cloth bags, alas when it was time to move we really needed plastic bags – car trash, kitty litter, dog . . .well you get the idea).  The dining area was just like a breakfast buffet area at most hotels, but with a small bar. It was pasta night, with salad, baked potatoes, and hot dogs. It was a pretty nice spread for the money, my favorite part the 2 glasses of Zinfandel I had – AHHH relaxation. I did notice that there were rather small children everywhere, which is what I figured, accounted for EVERYTHING in the dining area being sticky, but with wine everything gets better! Back at the room I didn’t even notice that Mooshu was sharing his opinion of our hotel choice.  I announced to no one in particular that I was going to sleep and they needed to find our next hotel.  Hubby took Monkey to the pool and enjoyed the hot tub, they got some exercise and found a different way to relax.

Hemi and Mooshu felt it was important for me to wake up early since I went to bed early, their first wake up call was at 4:30, so by 6 AM Hemi and I took a long walk in an empty grassy field across the street from the Hotel. It was good for both of us to stretch and get some fresh air. I returned to the room and started packing and waking the family. We went to breakfast in shifts so Hemi wouldn’t be alone, I still worried about him barking and disturbing others.  Over breakfast I asked about our next hotel, and got blank looks, so together Mike and I had a working breakfast, finding a place to stay on the west side of Dallas. This was a good thing since the sticky was getting to me, I was dreaming of a bucket of warm soapy water, rubber gloves and a sponge. Seriously, EVERYTHING needed wiped off!! Mike found a Navy Lodge at the Naval Air station at Fort Worth TX, so we were off on the third day of driving aiming for west of Dallas.

Leaving Virginia - El Paso Or BUST!!!

This move has been a mess!!   Our home, which I love, has not sold. It is a traditional home on just over half an acre built in 1995 – but with a remodeled kitchen (I LOVE my kitchen!!), new bathrooms and an established neighborhood with trees and wooded lots, great schools – well you get it I love my house. Area builders have several new developments near our home, small lots, no trees or grass yet, open floor plans, super close to your neighbor – but same square footage same basic price. So there are many houses on the market and so far the lookers want new and no yard over my amazing home, the fools!! The kids and I have had a hard time with the move – it’s only 10 months; El Paso schools are terrible-and that is being polite;  we like trees, this is the desert; it takes me a year to stop getting lost I won’t make that hurdle here; and well we were happy. BUT we love our soldier so we have moved, a little pouty about it but we are packed and loaded and ready to drive cross country.

THEN it begins, we left from G-ma’s resort in VA where we spent just over 2 weeks resting, swimming, and socializing with family. We had a great time and as always Granma was a super awesome hostess. Since it is summer and we would be traveling with 2 adults, 2 kids, 2 vehicles, a dog (good boy) and a very unhappy cat – I was reserving hotels a day in advance. The plan - to take an easy pace; driving days around 5-8 hours of driving time, remember to add 1 hour for the huge production that happens during any stop with this size crowd, so 2 of those a day.

Day one – leave Virginia planning to make Asheville NC. An easy day so we get off a little late, as we head for gas my phone rings, G-pa has our dog bed. G-pa and our dog are besties when together they go running every morning, so he really wanted Hemi (the dog) to have his bed. “Wait for me at the gas station and I’ll bring you the bed, Hemi has to have his bed.” Ok, dad. While getting gas my phone rings, it is a friend I haven’t talked to in over a year, so we are catching up on the hands free and I just drive off forgetting all about dad, until my phone rings again – OOPS!! So I call spouse’s car and we pull off and wait (we were about 5 miles down the road), G-pa delivers Hemi’s bed and we leave VA.

I have driven cross country more times than I can count taking both I 70 the northern route and I 10 the southern route and I have to say I am awed every time. Our country is so diverse and huge with amazing sites and interesting people and towns, it is really worth the adventure to drive it. BUT I have to say it is a better dive if you don’t have a screaming cat in your car. Mooshu is a small (12 lbs.) black cat, and he is pretty talkative all the time, and when you stuff him in a carrier and put him in the van, he likes to share his opinion about the experience. We have had him in the van for up to 3.5 hours and his voice will hold out that long, so I knew this would last at least 4 hours, possibly all day, every day until Texas. Knowing something and living the reality can be very different. I had the dog, cat and youngest girl in the van with me Monkey is 10 and a pretty happy easy to entertain kid, plus this van has a video player – so movies for her NPR podcasts for me, it will be great.

 Except I got so used to the cat screaming that when he stopped I got worried – but Monkey was asleep – no one to check Mooshu. Then the smell hit me, oh no, I am going to get to wash a cat after driving all day. Panic!!! So I start playing this out in my mind, do I wake Monkey up to check the cat? Well, what good would that do? I can’t wash the cat until we get there, so I let it go. Over the next 30 minutes the meowing and the smell would come and go with no real pattern – just the anxiety it caused me. In the end it was something outside that smelled and Moo had not done anything foul.

 We arrived at Asheville, NC in the Smoky Mountains around 5:30 – were settled and in our hotel by 6:00. I wanted to do something – I have set this trip as an adventure and it was early and I had energy and I Love Asheville – but most places were closed, so we took a walk on the trails off the Blue Ridge Parkway. We found a place where there was a short trail and kids, adults, and dog took a stroll in the woods. It was glorious!! I love the forest, one of the girls is even named Forest (after a fashion), it started to rain as we returned to the car – even better, *sigh* perfection. Then we started to search for a place to have dinner. I had hoped to eat at a restaurant – but what to do with the dog?? Hubby didn't want him left in a running van, and I was worried he would bark at the hotel. This discussion took place as we drove around Asheville. There were hippies everywhere, prompting him to declare Asheville the Portland (OR) of North Carolina. I laughed so hard, he was right, and that explains why I love Asheville so much.

(Um, tried to insert a photo, can't figure it out - will continue to try, sorry)

Back at the Days Inn we found ants, gnats, and our sorta clean room too much to bear, so I went to the front desk to get our room changed. Thankfully they had another room, so shift everything upstairs and around a corner. The second room was clean and newly remodeled, but it had the oldest beds. Discussions ensued about how far to drive on day two – I will cover that in the next installment.  We awoke aching and grumpy, but found an awesome breakfast to start the second day of adventure. 

Boxes everywhere . . .

Well the packers are done, and the truck comes tomorrow. I am at peace with this, even having some (dare I type it out loud) fun. Kahuna, (DH) had two boxes of paper to destroy so we spent the evening feeding wads of paper to the fire and chatting - it was very nice. I am looking forward to the next week at G-ma's house eating, visiting, catching up on Game of Thrones (we don't have cable only 17 channels at our house), it will be relaxing before the 5-7 days driving to Texas.

I hope to keep you posted as we travel.

Nervous energy

For the last year I have tried to find calm and balance in my life. I have put a good deal of energy into de-cluttering my physical space, which does help me to be calm. Then there was time at the gym, a strong body reassures the mind that the whole system is capable. I spent time meditating; free style, and guided by podcasts - I have really enjoyed Tara Brach and The Chopra Center for Wellbeing. Both are based on Buddhist teachings and I am trying hard to "take my hands off the controls". Yet, as we close in our our moving date the anxiety is daunting.

I am stressed by the unsold house, and the possibly forgotten things. I found myself standing in the kitchen wondering what to do, unable to sit down and breath. I have moved so many times before, ten times as an adult, five of those with the military, so I KNOW how to do this. As a matter of fact I have done it well, everything cleaned out and sorted; and I have done it badly, junk drawer not cleaned out, clothing not sorted, medicine cabinet uncleared. It is amazing how much junk you collect, and it can really piss you off to unwrap a huge rolled up item, carefully packed by the movers with the same amount of care they used on your china, to find a pile of bread bag ties. I learned the time spent on the front end (cleaning out) pays x3 when you are unpacking. I have also learned that the move happens bad/good/ugly it happens. If I forgot something, and lets face it the odds are good I did, it will still be okay. Working on a mantra - "there is nothing more to be done, it will all work out just as it should".  Hmm, I think that will do. I will work with it and see if it helps me breath.

Updates . . .minimalism, balance, health

It has been awhile, and after I posted about the Beach and move I reviewed some old posts and thought I would make a few updates;

Reduce your stuff - This movement continues in our house and I have been very happy with the results. Here are some of the things I learned - return to that closet, I would clear out closets once a year but for me to go through them every few months I found some items I had 'saved' on the first check were easier to part with in 2 months. In some cases I realized that I didn't wear it over the season I had saved it for or it was just to far out of fashion, also with the weight loss I didn't want to give myself larger clothes to return to. I have also held to not buying any clothing with out throw out something. Since we have a moving bearing down on us I have also cleared out all junk drawers and book shelves. I found alot of stuff in bathroom cupboards - it was all tossed for the move and we have been using up all the sample sized shampoos and body washes that were lingering in the house. Sometimes I have some anxiety about throwing stuff out - I want to recycle, or re-purpose as much as possible - and I have tried that but I also let myself off the 'save-the-planet' hook by remembering that I am also trying to reduce my overall consumption. To that end I have become the bag lady -- rarely needing a store plastic bag when I shop. So a big pat on the back on minimizing my environment.

Balance - with less stuff cluttering up the house cleaning became less of a burden it also helped that the house is for sale so the whole family is pitching in full force to keep it show room perfect. I often remind the family that we should get to a point where we live like this all the time. With the house cleaner I can actually relax in my home and read a book guilt free - AHHH BLISSFUL!!! I still make it to the gym 3x a week, and I worked part time yet I was at peace it was really nice.

Weight loss - I still get to the gym and I watch what I eat (but I am not tracking like I should) so, while I have not gained my loss has slowed considerably. I am ok with this since I feel like it is my life and I should be enjoying it and living it not just always working toward a goal. My health is continuing to improve and I am still in a much better physical place than I was 18 months ago so while I have missed goals the continued progress is acceptable to me.

Overall I think I am in a good place with some tools to maintain my balance, health and good outlook.

The Beach Before the Move

I am here at the beach for the summer solstice, we are on our family vacation and I had not even taken note that the solstice would happen. It is sad that I lose track of my spirituality and it is wonderful to me that I am on the beach with the full moon coming on such a powerful night.


 I need to take this night to meditate and refocus my mind - there is so much going on - we are moving from North Carolina to Texas, our home is for sale, and we don't know yet where we will actually live in Texas. Sometimes the fear and stress of the move really bothers me, other times I am excited by the adventure. We have really liked Fayetteville, the kids and I have enjoyed it here and found our place. I am very comfortable even if I don't have any true friends, I do have many acquaintances. We love our home, and like the schools. AND I had a job which I enjoyed. SO it is bitter sweet to move, while there are things I wanted and didn't have here there are many things I did have and giving them up is worrisome.

I have found a hiking group in Texas, and a study group to join. We will only be there for 10 months so I can take the time to focus on smaller projects and not get involved in planting a garden, or finding a job (although if the house doesn't sell I might be working at Walmart).  It might be a time for me to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, LOL.

Minimal Living???

     So I have started looking into this lifestyle called minimalism. Something I have thought about before but didn't have a name for - looking at life in small spaces being happy with less stuff etc. I guess it is something I have wanted for years - I have actually had a fantasy  where our house burns down just so ALL the stuff is gone. Pretty sure that is NOT normal. Since we move every 3 years or so I do clean out closets and drawers and have garage sales regularly - but there is still so much CRAP. My husband is a collector of all sorts of toys and what not, and the kids are definitely his - emotionally attached to their toys, and don't get me wrong I have plenty of unnecessary junk too.

     We needed a family plan to clear out the unneeded, useless, or pointless. I decided to try and find 10 items a day to remove from the home; trash, sell, donate. I asked my husband to get rid of 10 items a week, he was a little worried but started out on board :-) I hope to keep him on the plan with me. The kids are aware of their Mother's freak-outs that lead to black trash bags getting filled and tossed in a panic so they are happy to have a say and get a chance to take part in the decisions. This weekend hubby cleared out his hanging clothes, I edited the Christmas decorations as I put them away, kids reduced their stuffed animals and dress up clothes (a miracle to be sure). Then I put a bunch of stuff on Craigslist, and I have been placing books in a bag to go to the used book store.

    But all of that is the easy stuff. I know what is coming - those hard choices inherited tchotchkes, and pieces from childhood, and the worst - stuff other family members gave you because they couldn't throw it out. My sister-in-law had some great insight about these family "gifts" - it's okay, good even to be the one strong enough to let it go. Life should be about experience, knowledge, and love not STUFF. SO that is one thing I am trying to get to - less stuff. More life.

    I read an article about giving kids experiences not things for gifts at Birthdays and Christmas. They were involved lessons, sporting packages, educational trips, time with professionals in assorted fields - real in depth events. They suggested getting friends and family on board to donate time, supplies or money to these adventures. I love the idea but my spouse and my mother LOVE to shop. There is a Birthday coming at the end of January, my baby turns 10 -- Challenge Accepted! I will keep you informed, about the gifts.