Nervous energy

For the last year I have tried to find calm and balance in my life. I have put a good deal of energy into de-cluttering my physical space, which does help me to be calm. Then there was time at the gym, a strong body reassures the mind that the whole system is capable. I spent time meditating; free style, and guided by podcasts - I have really enjoyed Tara Brach and The Chopra Center for Wellbeing. Both are based on Buddhist teachings and I am trying hard to "take my hands off the controls". Yet, as we close in our our moving date the anxiety is daunting.

I am stressed by the unsold house, and the possibly forgotten things. I found myself standing in the kitchen wondering what to do, unable to sit down and breath. I have moved so many times before, ten times as an adult, five of those with the military, so I KNOW how to do this. As a matter of fact I have done it well, everything cleaned out and sorted; and I have done it badly, junk drawer not cleaned out, clothing not sorted, medicine cabinet uncleared. It is amazing how much junk you collect, and it can really piss you off to unwrap a huge rolled up item, carefully packed by the movers with the same amount of care they used on your china, to find a pile of bread bag ties. I learned the time spent on the front end (cleaning out) pays x3 when you are unpacking. I have also learned that the move happens bad/good/ugly it happens. If I forgot something, and lets face it the odds are good I did, it will still be okay. Working on a mantra - "there is nothing more to be done, it will all work out just as it should".  Hmm, I think that will do. I will work with it and see if it helps me breath.