Household good arrived!!!

Wow, our stuff arrived!!! Unpacking is as fun as ever, I am a little dismayed that this is taking me so long – seriously I have done it 6 times as a wife and I only have ½ of our stuff so what gives!?! Then I realize I ONLY have HALF of my stuff!!! The buffet that platter lives in, not here and hardest of all we don’t have any book shelves or desks. Ok, I guess I can cut myself a little slack for wandering around with items in hand like a zombie. As a plus I now have a full complement of pots, pans, bake ware, and tools throwing dinner together just got easier. Of course I am still figuring out the best organization for the stuff but that generally takes me a few weeks of working in the kitchen with it all. OH Oh (jumps up and down clapping) and now I have other clothes to wear, those 12 outfits I brought were getting old after 12 weeks – a few of the high quality Walmart t-shirts are actually wearing out Yikes. I have learned just how much smaller the Government Issue dresser is compared to mine – and geez do I need that many pairs of underwear or socks?!? Dog is happy we now have 3 large golf umbrellas. I have my stuff 30 days earlier than expected, so I will be thankful and find solutions to where will I put this or that.

We also have our van and I got my Korean driver’s license. Overall the experience here is improving, I just need to get brave and go out and adventure. To drive off the post requires coping with the way Korean’s drive. Everything – signage, painted arrows on the road these are mere suggestions the native population drives with abandon. Interesting fact all accidents require both drivers to take 50% responsibility, yes if you hit a parked car it is 50% that driver’s fault. Then there are the signs they aren’t all in Hongu (the Korean alphabet) but the words all look the same to me, one name can be different from the next with just 2-4 letters difference that’s very hard to notice while you are driving by. If I get lost getting directions from someone when I can’t even ask in Korean could be difficult, plus I don’t know my numbers, or left and right in Korean. Others tell me there are lots of Koreans that speak English and it would be fine.

We have been out and about in Pyeongtaek (the large city by us) and Anjeong ri (the suburb of Pyeongtaek right outside our gate) and both adventures were fun and exciting. The girls and I went to the market in Anjeong ri before the van came so that involved a half mile walk to a 20 minute bus ride then we walk out the pedestrian gate into the ‘ville. It was lots of fun and the Korean merchants were very helpful and friendly; we bought great veggies and fruits that were inexpensive and so fresh and tasty. Next is to try the large market in Pyeongtaek, just gotta be brave and go.

Monsoon season

I like to plan ahead. I feel like it gives that Murphy guy less to do, the things I plan for don't happen - it is that one thing I miss that screws it all up. SO I knew that July and August were monsoon season and I tried to buy rain boots for the kids and myself but we lived in El Paso, TX which is a desert rain boots were hard to come by in June. No matter since it isn't (so far) days of constant rain. It rains every day for some amount of time, and there is now standing water in lots of places but I don't always get wet when I walk the dog.

The other morning it was really wet air, so you got wet while you walked along but the water had not reached a critical mass and started to fall to earth. I was ok with that and the dog did his thing and I didn't even need to change my clothes when I got back in the apartment. Oh how 5 hours can change the world. Looking out the window while I waited for the elevator I thought, Hmm it is raining a little. In the time it took that little metal box to go from 4th floor to 1st floor it was pouring. Dog had to go, so out we went. Dog was not happy. I found the whole thing laughable. The water ran down my face I couldn't even see, dog did not complete the mission. He tapped out.

So with the standing water and pouring rain - I really need boots. Oddly I am having trouble finding any, you would think shops would capitalize on this moisture and get some rubber boots in, alas so far no luck. Thankfully the rain is back to falling at night. The weather reports say it has been a dry monsoon season, and the country is headed for a drought. I do hope it rains, and the Koreans don't have a drought, I just hope it waits until I find some boots and a really large umbrella for the dog. I don't think he can hold it more than a day at a time.

Tossed under the bus . . .

Right now I am writing my resume, can you tell? I was gathering my papers I have this folder that I have kept copies of my resumes through the years and letters of recommendation and cards of love and support from family and friends. I found it was a good place to go when I got sad and felt worthless. I could read all these letters that said I was responsible and a hard worker. Sometimes I forgot about my folder of attagirl, and those months would get dark . . . . Anyhow in the back I found my darkest day, orders leaving Oregon.

Once upon a time I was crazy happy in Salem, Oregon. I had friends, a purpose, I was on a great housekeeping schedule, I felt like I fit in - it was amazing. At the elementary school a ponytail and no makeup it was ok, hell it was standard Mom attire! Only problem, spouse was a recruiter and he was really unhappy, we had grown far apart and lived as roommates. We didn’t even communicate with notes, neither one knew what the other was doing in their life. Then it was time for him to return to the regular Army, he started to come back to me, the sarcastic loving guy I married started to show up at our house. We got our orders for Germany, *squee*, I love Germany. I was excited even though I would leave my home. One week before we were getting on the road they changed our orders – in a voice mail – to Ft Rucker, AL. Southern gals, inspite of the crazy melting humidity, to go everywhere-even the gym in make-up and with hair done. To say I hate Ft Rucker is a supreme understatement, I do not fit in there and we had been there 2x already. I cried for 3 days. I knew I had to make a choice, my marriage (kids were 7 and 3) or my happiness and that really is how I saw it. SO I made a sacrifice for my family, for my kids and returned to HELL.

I went to AL, and held it against him for the 2.5 years there and another 2 years at Ft Bragg, NC. It was pretty bad, I gave up. Actually laid down and gave up. I don’t even know if he could have done anything, at times I told myself that if he at least apologized for what the Army did, or admitted that I gave up so much for him then I could forgive him. LOL my husband isn’t good at sorry even when it is his fault much less for something he can’t control – but my twisted mind felt like there were words he could use to fix it. Like any good martyr I suffered for my cause, I stayed in bed for the better part of 2 years – yeah that’ll teach ‘em!!

When I started to get straight with my health and my mind a therapist asked me why did you leave Oregon? If you were happy there why didn’t you stay? I had to admit that if I had stayed we would have been divorced in a year, we were too far apart at that point and we needed to become husband and wife again. There are strong marriages that can take time apart, or even damaged ones like ours (he was deployed 2x while I continued to hold vigil) can make it if you are together in theory. If I had stayed I would have declared my independence physically when I was already living it mentally. So while he was in Afghanistan the second time I chose to get better. We were supposed to retire in a year so I would get to go back to Oregon and have a career – the kids were 13 and 10 they could function without me. He would retire and be an at home Dad while I got a career. I had a happy family picture in my mind all of my suffering was over my reward earned.

The Army did it again, while deployed he made the Sergeant Major (SGM) list and called to tell me we were going to Ft Bliss for a year and then he had to spend another 4 years in the Army to retire at SGM. I really didn’t know what to do, OH the rollercoaster of emotions. I could go to Oregon and start a life with the kids and he could join us when he retired, I could stay in NC and see where he went after school. I wanted my family intact, but wasn’t ready to trade my soul again. I am nothing if not dramatic! Once again I had a plan and here it was tossed under the bus.

I put on my big girl panties, it took me a couple of months to find them. I was pleasantly surprised that they were too big, while getting healthy I lost 50 lbs and 2 sizes. With new found pleasure at my healthy success I loaded up the family to move to Ft Bliss, TX for a whole 10 months. In Texas we discovered each other again. He came home for dinner and lunch and we laughed and enjoyed each other, both pleasantly surprised to find we were still in love. I let go of my martyrdom, and he forgave the years of passive aggressive behavior. I am a fool, I planned on getting to Ft Lewis, WA and starting my life 3 hours away in Oregon.  Thought we could have it all. Oh the Gods have a sense of humor.

I am writing this from Pyeongtaek South Korea. This time I got through my shock and dismay in about 24 hours and decided this was my overseas adventure that I had waited 8 years for, being a martyr did finally pay off.   

Hemorrhaging Money

How many things can break???

You need a time line to appreciate how much these last 2 months sucked for me and the ride is still going. At the end of February, so a mere 8 weeks ago all the items in my house with a plug started to revolt. The Vacuum was dying – so for my birthday I figured I was getting a new one (my birthday is the end of February) NOT my choice but such is adulthood we don’t always get what we want. Before we could get the Dyson I wanted because of course I need a $400+ vacuum, one of the computers broke, and the light bulb for the large TV went out. The bulb and computer parts both cost over $200. AND I had a rafting trip, on the Rio Grande planned for the first week of March, our spring break. All the breakage so far was stuff we didn’t need to replace immediately so spouse and I decided to wait until after the rafting trip to spend the money, leaving a cash buffer for our traveling. 

Trying to keep up with the fur from our lab and cat became a small challenge, and the large TV on the floor to the side of the entertainment center which now had a TV 1/3 the size, added interesting ambience to the décor in our house.  We live in Army quarters, which means it looks like really nice section 8 housing – in NC we bought a house which I loved and we couldn’t sell when we moved so it is rented, for less than the mortgage of course because it is how my life works! Anywhoo, the quarters are small but work fine and it has encouraged us to thin out our stuff – it also means I kinda have a landlord. This came in handy when on the Thursday night of our Military Formal our refrigerator, died the one they had come out to repair 2x already. We called, no one called back that night so 7 am after our formal we called again – when the guy came I was insisting on a new unit since we were leaving town on Sunday. They came through but I had to throw out all the food from the fridge and freezer and file the claim with the property manager – while I am packing a family for a rafting/camping trip and scheduling pet sitters and getting grandpa from the airport to join us.

Trip was great, I will tell more about it later.

After 3 days unplugged I return to a message on my phone that the heat pump on the rented house in NC broke. UGH, I know this will cost thousands!! I told them to get a quote and called a few other places for additional quotes – the phone tag is still going on 8 weeks later but it looks like this will cost $4000 hmmm guess I am sweeping the floor and the little tv is here to stay.

Two weeks later the washer, which is 3 yrs old starts making noise – I call the guy who fixed our freezer which the movers broke in August. He came out it was $100 for parts and labor. Then spouse’s smart phone, a Samsung only 2 yrs old starts acting up even with tech support they can’t get it fixed so off to the ATT store. It was cheaper to buy the phone and get the lower rate plan than to get the “free” phone. Ok, at this point I am hemorrhaging money the savings is gone and we are getting tight – PLUS since we know we move in July so I can’t really go get a job.

Five days after we get the phone, we get orders for Korea. I was shell shocked for about 24 hours trying to process what this means and what our options are . . .we decide to all stay together so the kids, pets and I are going to Korea we have about 100 days to complete all the things needed to satisfy the Army, the US government, and the Korean government to allow us to follow our soldier to Korea.  By The WAY the phones won’t work there, and none of the large appliances will go. I spend a few hours each day trying to get the correct people on the phone for appointments and paper work. Pets get shots and blood work on Friday – they call me that afternoon, one of the 4 shots they gave the poor cat was out of date so in 3 weeks he needs to go in for that again. NO ONE answers the phone at the passport office to tell me what the rules are and what we need – I have verified that to travel outside of Korea we have to buy our own passports the Army will only give us paperwork to get in country – and seriously travel is why you go overseas. The passports are $135 each we need 4.

That brings me to this weekend and Saturday with laundry sorted and piled in the laundry room, the dryer stopped heating. It is good to live in the desert even jeans only took 5 hours to dry outside. So I called Jorge to come out to look at the dryer – he was amazed!! I gotta say I am not sure what Karma I am reaping here but I am hoping it will run out soon!!!  More on Rafting the Rio Grande next time . . .